


alate loneliness

by Justalazywriter



Category: Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017), The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, Winter Soldier (Comics)
Genre: Age Difference, Anal Sex, Anxiety Attacks, Avengers Family, Bottom Peter Parker, Bucky Barnes Is a Good Bro, Cuddle, Dead Aunt May, Depressed Peter Parker, F/M, Fluff, Forgive Me, I may make them date sooner, IMMA WRITE A BOOK ON THOSE TWO ANOTHER DAY, M/M, New Years, Oral Sex, Other, Panic Attacks, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Precious Peter Parker, Protective Steve Rogers, Protective Tony Stark, Sassy Peter, Sleepy Cuddles, Slow Build, Smut, Tony Stark Cuddles, Top Tony Stark, WADE AND PETER ARE JUST FRIENDS, but they are all cuddly, very slow
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-17
Updated: 2019-01-24
Packaged: 2019-04-24 02:45:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 11,791
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14346345
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Justalazywriter/pseuds/Justalazywriter
Summary: AloneAn overwhelming urge to run away.SHIT DOESN'T HAPPEN IN THIS BOOK UNTIL CHAPTER FOUR---Everything seemed to be falling apart, May was gone. Everything around him just seemed to be crumbling, cursing at himself knowing if only he had listened to his senses, gotten there faster, maybe he wouldn't be alone.As his walls crumble, there was only Tony. The man the boy idolized, looked up to and admired, taking Peter into his home, the compound. Can this man heal the boys shattered heart? Find the monster that was human that killed Peter's aunt, and help him heal.(I can't do descriptions)so akaPeter needs hugs, Tony takes him in, they hunt down the man who killed May and they realize their feelings or each other along the way and Steve is kinda like Peter's older brother.akathis book contains lots of cuddles, nightmares, kisses and lots of fluff till Tony decides to take his pants off *wink wink*(Peter is also 19 and Tony is 40)





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Each chapter will be a word, as chapter one is called Paraprosexia which means (n.) Constant distraction.  
> as the chapters go on, pay attention to the chapter title name as the word corresponds with the chapter so you can get an idea of what was
> 
> THE FIRST FEW CHAPTERS ARE SHORT AND PROBABLY SHITTY BUT I SWEAR IT GETS BETTER
> 
> (This chapter is needing major editing!)

Chapter one 

Paraprosexia (n.) Constant distraction. 

\---  
As humans, if we would be reminded every day that we could lose someone close to us at any given moment… We would love them more fiercely and openly, without the daunting fear--  
Not because there is nothing to lose, but because we finally realize everything can always be lost. 

Peter let out a deep sigh, webbing from buildings watching the noisy streets of Queens, even at midnight the streets were still filled with screams and teens getting drunk beyond belief, clubs blasting their music as drivers drove onto the freeway. 

Settling on the top of a small apartment building, the teen staring down at his gloved hands. Of all the people he’s hurt, he’s hurt himself the most, nights like these it was hard for the young teen to focus-- to think. With all the constant distractions in the way. Peter spending most nights drenched in long patrols and talks with himself about all the things he could have done better, all the things that may have never happened if he was just there fast enough.

Clenching his fist, looking out at the bright city lights, ‘almost twenty…’ the boy thought aloud, it had been two years since the brunette had last talked to his friends, Ned, Mj.  
He’d always thought they’d stay by his side, at least Ned would… But he failed them, he messed up and caused them to lose faith. Well, what was Peter? Just a man in skinny way too tight spandex? Chuckling at the thought, but it was true. 

If he hadn’t been bitten by that spider, where would he be? Kicking his legs against the side of the building, the frigid breeze blowing past. ‘Would I still have met Mr.Stark?” puffing out his chest with a hmph, like a man of Tony Stark status would meet with a brainiac teen. 

Standing up, letting out a sigh, “Karen, whats the time?” the ai speaking in a calming voice, “It is 1:36 am” Webbing down, slinging from the rooftops as the superhero began to make his way home, home… That was all the kid had left at this point in his life, Mr.Stark-- Tony and him rarely spoke since the incident with Adrien, the vulture now locked behind solid gates, ruining Liz’s life the girl now growing up without a father… 

Refusing to become an avenger, but what would he avenge? Each person had a goal, but what was his? 

It was a mystery how the boy could hide all his pain behind a smile, practice maybe? But a smile that barely any could see threw, crying himself to sleep as the thunder of thoughts kept him from a peaceful slumber. Climbing through the window in the small bedroom that belonged to the vigilant, taking off his suit as he hit it in the ceiling, laughing to himself from what he once thought it was such an amazing spot till Mr.Stark had come in and found it within a few seconds, looking at his desk reading the time that was written in bold red blocks as beside it sat a picture of himself, Ned, MJ and Aunt May. Smiling, it was amazing, the picture would never change, never alter, never fade yet the people, the people will change, how best friends can vanish or how strange it is from going to late night conversations to meaningless silence. 

How staying together forever turns into a few short months that Peter would do anything to get back, how he’d let something go that he spoke that he could never live without, Peter laid on his bed looking up at the ceiling, placing his arms under his head. People make promises, but they are always broken in some manner, then the person erases you from their lives just because it's would easier than working things out. 

Sharing a quick glance with his phone, the bright screen glaring at the boy's eyes, groaning tossing the piece of technology to the floor, flopping onto the side, pulling the covers over a slender frame, now for the battle of the night, will it be too hot or too cold?


	2. Thantophobia

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thanatophobia
> 
> (n.) The phobia of losing someone you love,

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I swear the chapters will get longer eventually

Chapter Two

Thantophobia

(n.) The phobia of losing someone you love,

\---

 

The fear of death, whether it be your own, or someone you love. 

Chuckling softly, the thing is.

He did not fear his own death, he feared the death of others, those of the ones the boy loved.

Peter was scared, anxious one day he’d lose his Aunt the woman being taken away from him just as his parents, his uncle. 

Laying down, looking up at the ceiling, sun shining thru the window the suns lights portraying white scars on the floor of the teen's bedroom.

Closing his eyes, it was like he relived it all, thanks to the gift Doctor Strange had given him, allowing him to meet his uncle but it didn’t last for long before the man faded away, it was a gift for his seventeenth birthday. But all he learned was how the man died, how he was taken from the world. NIghtmares he never wished for.

(Yes there is an actual scene in the Marvel comics where Doctor Strange brings Ben Parker back for five minutes on Peter’s birthday and I’m just kinda messing around with that :P also Ps Peter is 13 when Ben dies)

\--

It was dark, the man hidden behind a mask of black over his face, rummaging through drawers looking for anything that could fill his pockets with cash, the sickening smirk looking at all the watches and necklaces he placed in his bag knowing that a paycheck would soon make it ways into the monster hands.

Ben stood, watching the burglar take all they had that was of any value, the old man’s heart dropping watching the thief. Money, something the Parker family had always struggled with, ever since the tragic death of the boys parents, Richard and Mary Parker the couple barred a few feet below the ground, now it laid on the shoulders of Ben to raise the boy, the poor child never able to know the warmth of his mothers hugs till college, nor a fathers game of catch in the backyard. 

And the creak of the floorboard was about to take any chance the man had of being able to give the boy those memories were taken away from him , the man turning on his heels staring at the older man raising his gun, Ben raised his hands as he showed he was no threat, “Please, take everything just don’t--” but the trigger had already been pulled.

Everything seemed silent as the gunshot echoed, the man falling to his knees before he laid lifeless in a pool of blood surrounding his body, feeling the blood seeping into his clothe watching with dreary eyes as the man ran fleeing the scene leaving the old man alone, darkness filling the quiet room, thinking of the boy he was supposed to raise, 

“I’m sorry Peter” he whispered softly, his eyes feeling heavy sharing one last glance with the photo on the fireplaces mantle, Ben having an arm wrapped around the boy as the other laid loosely on his wife's shoulder, “I love you” 

That was the day, the day that sparked the transformation of Peter, the little boy who was so pure into the man now known by the world, Spider-man 

“With great power comes great responsibility” Bens spoke, a sluggish grin on his face before disappearing in front of the boy, tears falling down his face, staining Peter’s fair skin. Stephen placing a firm hand on the boys shoulder seeing the brunettes heart broken eyes as he tried to reach out for his uncle as he faded away into the library the soft echo of the man’s laugh ringing quietly before disappearing into silence, “Happy birthday, Peter” Stephen whispered before leaving Peter alone in silence as the door closed the empty room filled with broken sobs.

Peter knew knowing how proud he was of the man that small boy became. 

 

\--  
(cause this may be confusing what you just read was a flashback from when Peter was seventeen)  
\--

“I don’t want to be alone…” Peter choked, placing his arm over teary eyes refusing to move as the tears refused to stop, feeling the strong aching tightness around the boy’s heart wishing it go away, but the scars of the man’s death would never fade, he lost his parents when he was only the frail age of four… Losing his uncle, it sent to child’s world spinning into a state of silence as May pried the boy free of his clouding darkness. 

But one can easily fake their emotions behind a broken smile. 

\---


	3. Brontide

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brontide 
> 
> (n.) the low rumble of distant thunder
> 
> \--

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THE NEXT CHAPTER IS LIKE AMAZING AND FULL OF FEELS SO STAY TUNED!!  
> ps I need to edit this chapter

Chapter Three

Brontide 

(n.) the low rumble of distant thunder 

\--- 

The rain poured down, thundering like arrows falling effortlessly against the ground. The skies covered in ashen grey, Peter watching the city with careful eyes as he strolled through the city, staying hidden between the small sides of the buildings. Doing anything to make his mind numb, the memories of the morning still clouding his thoughts as he shot a web to the next building letting his body fly in the cold air the water dampening his suit. 

But it didn’t bother the teen, taking silent pleasure in the coldness for one thanking how Mr.Stark didn’t place certain features in his suit, well at least he had a heater for if he got too cold.

These were the times the hero closed his eyes, enjoying the simplicity of simple things the boy rarely able to find that sort of calmness anymore since he put on his makeshift suit three years ago. Rain was something no one could alter, it was something we were all made of, water. Water was everywhere in all living things, no one could be separated from water, not even the Sandman, if there was a day water stopped flowing and the skies wilted up into grey, there would be no life, water comes in every form and it was something we could never escape, even in the heavy fog, it was still water.

The thunder in the distance caused the hero to quiver, the tremble in his bones hearing the break of the sky, catching himself on the roof of a building panting softly, no hero would admit a fear, and not one simply as thunder. The harsh crackle made the boy whimper as the hairs on his arms rose, scaring him. Not knowing if it was of danger or fear. 

Praying softly to himself that no one could see him as he held his chest feeling sick as the thunder continued in loud jolts, sending shivers throughout the vigilant. 

“Peter, your pulse seems to be increasing. Would you like me to call Mr.Stark?” the worried voice of the AI spoke, startling the brunette as he fell on his butt, groaning softly before stuttering out, “No, n-no I’m fine” Getting up, shooting a web to the next building barely able to catch him, stumbling as he shot the next web. 

“I advise you rest Peter, it is not safe for you to be web-slinging in your current state,” Karen said, mumbling curse words under his breath knowing the AI would still hear him. “Peter?” Clenching his fist throwing himself on to the rooftop of a building, “Fine! Just shut up, please” Peter yelled before his voice lowered, feeling guilty. 

The thunder roared, Peter sliding down into an abandoned alleyway taking cover under the buildings shed as he tore off his super-suit shoving it into his backpack, shuddering as the thunder became louder, the clouds lighting up as lightning struck, the arms on the boys arms raising making Peter’s stomach twist painfully scared to know why. 

His only thoughts were silent prayers as he ran into the busy city sidewalks, closing his eyes as he took in a deep breath praying everything would be okay. 

But it never works out that way.


	4. Quaintrelle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Quaintrelle:
> 
> A woman who emphasizes a life of passion expressed through personal style, leisurely pastimes, charm, and a cultivation of life's pleasures

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IM TRYIN TO MAKE THE CHAPTERS LONGER FORGIVE ME

Chapter four

 

Quaintrelle:

A woman who emphasizes a life of passion expressed through personal style, leisurely pastimes, charm, and a cultivation of life's pleasures

\--

The man’s sickening smile, baring his yellow stained teeth. May trembling watching as the man flicked his fingers over the holster of the gun. The woman paralyzed in fear, taking a step back stumbling to the floor as the man let out a daunting laugh. 

Her trembling hands moving backward, trying to crawl away from the man as he stepped closer to the brunette, his eyes darkening as he wore a playful smile making May’s stomach twist into a painful knot. 

Kneeling down to the frightened woman, “You're quite beautiful” May trying not to cringe or make a face of disgust at the man’s foul breath.

Julians gripping the woman's face, studying her gentle features. 

“What do- do you want” May forced, cursing herself for her broken voice.

“What do I want?” The man seethed, looking down at the pathetic woman a grin on his face as he watched May tremble. Pointing the gun in his callus hands at the woman, May chewing on the inside of her cheek

“You see Ms.Parker, your nephew is of interest to me” Silence seeming to suffocate the room before the man let out an agonizingly painful laugh, staring at the woman. “But he has a habit of interfering” waving the gun in the woman’s vision, taunting her as he began to walk around the small apartment using his arm knocking items off their shelves onto the floor, May quivering hearing glass shatter to the floor, the one clean apartment now looking if someone had burglarized it.

Watching as photo frames shattered to the floor, “I thought, what would happen” Julian head snapping to look at the woman as May let out a startled cry, warm tears sinking off her face, falling from her chin as she closed her burning eyes trying to picture the soft smile of the boy she raised. The once young stuttering boy who was always too shy and pure for his own good, too precious for this cruel world, now raised as Queen's beloved hero, Spider-man.

“If I killed the last of his family” his voice trailing as his lips curved into a grin, “The same way your beloved husband was murdered.” 

Suppressing her cries looking up at the daunting man as he pressed the cold metal to the woman's forehead as she starred the monster in the eyes.  
May knew, knew Peter wouldn’t want her to die weak, looking at the man with her tear stained eyes picturing all the memories she cherished with a warm heart, the memories of the boy she was proud to have raised, proud beyond words of the man Peter has become knowing Ben was smiling down at ‘their’ son as Mary and Richard danced together among the stars and it was time May joined her husband in a duet. 

May Parker knew her time was up in this cruel world as she spoke with no fear, no stutter in her voice, leaning forward into the guns press. 

“Peter will find you, and my boy will not lose to someone like you” Closing her eyes as she whispered in silence, “I love you” As Julian laughed placing his finger on the trigger, “Goodbye Ms.Parker.

\--

This was the day, May Parker was taken from this cruel world.


	5. Monophobia

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Monophobia
> 
> (n.) the fear of being alone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow an actually long chapter!
> 
> please comment below if you are liking this story! thank you darlings!

Chapter five 

Monophobia

(n.) the fear of being alone

 

Running up the spiral of stairs, racing to his and May’s apartment the boy’s chest feeling increasingly tighter as each step he got closer, knowing something, something was wrong.

Finally reaching the top, looking down at the narrow hall his eyes widening seeing the door to his home blown open, “No, no, no” Peter continuously mumbled as he ran towards the door, running inside his heart thundering painfully in his chest seeing everything scattered to the ground, “May!” Peter cried out, running towards the living room, the breath being torn from his lungs seeing his aunt… Her body laying lifeless. Once light stricken eyes, so full of life, now dull staring off into the seemingly endless distance.

“Peter” A woman stuttered, the vigilante recognizing the scattered voice, Ms.Wellton staring at the boy in shock and grief, “I-I’ve called the police” But her words offered no closure. Ms.Wellton watching as the boy fell to his knees, tears forming in the corner of his still hazel eyes.

“No” he barely spoke, throat sneezing painfully closed, “No, Aunt May…” tears began to flood Peter’s vision as the child let out a choked sob, feeling his heart shatter into a thousand broken pieces. Mind clouded by harrowing thoughts as he let out small hiccup sobs seeing the last woman, the last person who cared for him, that loved him lying lifeless on their apartment floor, Peter felt his nails dig into the palms of his hands knowing this was no mistake, nor accident the bullet wound directed at the woman's head as if she offered herself… then it hit him.

“This is my fault” 

It was his fault if he had never become Spider-Man May would… would still be alive breathing the spring air with a dorky smile on her face preparing dinner smiling at the boy she raised. Slowly police began to filling the apartment as they began there endless listen of questions it all sounding like a blur, an officer questioning Ms.Wellton, the woman casting worried glances over to Peter as the world seemingly stopped moving for the child as he sat on his knees staring blankly with a tear struck face at his Aunt, the last of his family. 

The police mourning their heads for the boy, offering their blessings for the fallen woman. Peter knew as the day woke to a new tomorrow May would be forgotten in the many texts as the newspapers came the large bold headline describing the woman's death then as the night passed she would be forgotten as if it was just another day.

They’d would see her death as another robbery gone wrong, taking a life just as they did when Ben was taken from their grasps robbed of a joy-filled a life. 

An officer rested his hands on Peters' shoulder, snapping him back to this… Painful reality.  
He opened his mouth to speak, his eyes full of sorrow looking at the poor brunette, but Peter ran. Pushing through the many bystanders and officers as he ran towards the stairs. He couldn't listen, listen to their words, saying it was an accident or a tragedy.

He couldn’t bare to listen to strangers mourn her lost, tell him they were sorry for his lost as they bowed their heads in respect, clenching his teeth as the superhero refused to cry, but emotions were something you couldn’t silence no matter what mask you wore or what smile you played, even people who did nothing but good were met with horrid nightmares that were reality.

Knuckles turning white as he ran into the open streets pushing his way past each person allowing himself to cry as the rain poured down over the city, tears hidden under the rains thunder, people staring at the boy who used the rain to mask his tears. 

Running into a small alleyway, collapsing on the final steps of a fire escape. Peter letting out a heartbreaking cry not caring who heard him, would it even matter? No man, no woman, no person would free Peter from the pain, the suffocating pain that slowly built bricks up into a wall, hiding him from the world's cruel reality.

The worst type of crying were the silent ones, the ones were everyone faced the reality but you. The one where you feel it in your throat as it burns and your eyes become too blurry from tears, when Peter just wanted to scream, when you have to grab your stomach to breath, to silence yourself. And you have to realize the person you love most is gone.

Peters' heart clenched painfully, there were no tears as he let out a silent cry, he couldn’t hear as he felt his heart break.

He was alone.

And that was his worst fear.

Placing his head in his hands, trying to steady his breathing, the shallow intake of breath closing his eyes listening to his breath slowly pick up as he saw May lying before him, her body so pale, drained of blood. Eyes staring at him in a dull silence, her lips parted and cuts once rose red lips, pale as ice the woman's skin colder than anything he’s ever felt.

Letting out a strangled cry, holding himself as his nails digged into his scalp, closing his eyes feeling the burning sensation running under his eye lids, trying to focus on the subtle beats of the rain the tapping of the plastic cover above him drawing an interesting calming sensation as Peter rested his head on the apartments brick wall.

Pulling out his phone hands trembling as he looked at the shaking device, sliding the lock screen open, his eyes so blurred from tears trying to speak to use the voice command but failed to struggle to type in the man who made his suit, told him he was always welcome. Tony Stark.

Looking at the digits on the screen, feeling his lip tremble as he looked at the contact. 

‘I just be bothering him, he has better things than me, fuck!” Peter letting his tears fall once again, ‘I’m just a bratty kid who’d get in his way…’

Tears rolled down his cheeks before mumbling a soft ‘fuck it’ as he clicked the dial button.   
Listening to the phones ring, his chest tightening as he was soon invited to listen to the billionaire's mailbox… Tossing his phone to the ground at his feet crying, “Why!” Peter screamed, pulling at his hair feeling useless like he was nothing but wasted space. 

His broken heart struggling as despair ate away, the weight of the world crashing on his shoulders as he cried, unaware of his voice quietly saying “Your voicemail has been sent.”


	6. Toska

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Toska  
> (n.)- Russian word roughly translated as sadness  
> \- a dull ache of the soul, a sick pining, spiritual anguish

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How are you all enjoying the book? 
> 
> please leave a comment below of your thoughts!

Chapter six

\--

Groaning softly, stretching his sore limbs as Tony took a seat at his bar the man exhausted from late nights in the labs bend over his desk trying to advent new mechanics, sighing he pulled out his phone looking at the thousands of missed messages and calls, chuckling softly to himself as he swiped away each notification as it blinked on the screen, quietly mumbling “Delete, and delete”

Pouring himself a glass of one of the many fine liquors, Mr.Stark placed the glass to his lips seeing a missed call from the ‘spiderling ‘ along with a voice message the man’s AI placing it as a urgent message. Knitting his brows together seeing Peter’s contact light up on the screen confused to why the teen had called him, was it his birthday? Tony never found his own birthday that appealing as he could buy almost anything he wanted. The man was always bad at remembering those kinds of things well at least since Pepper had left him the woman saying her life would be more relaxed and at peace if she’d had never met Tony as she packed her bags turning a blind eye to him.

Maybe a new villain? Tony laughing to himself at what names the kid would come up with, names sounding like they were picked from a comic book the boy had read as a child that he now brought to life, clicking the voicemail placing the phone to his ear, as the message loaded turning on the cable box as the Television lit up broadcasting the news onto the large LED screen,

The glass falling from his hand, the silence being broken as the glass fell shattering as Tony watched in fear reading the bright bold letters that played across the screen. 

‘May Parker killed in burglary in Queens’ 

No this couldn’t be happening, JARVIS would have updated him as soon as something was to happen to the Parkers. Running a hand over his face placing his phone onto the table as soon as the message had completed loading, watching the Television with wide eyes not believing the broadcasters words till the bright bold words “Graphic Imagery’ feeling his stomach turn, looking away from the Tv unable to bare staring at whatever they were to play.

Placing the phone back to his ear only to hear the sobs on a child, “why” Peter sobbed, crying tears for another, a person he loved now gone and Tony knew that feeling wouldn’t fade, not for a long time. Feeling his heart clench as the boy’s message was filled with broken cries and choked sobs before the kid as interrupted by a rough cough his throat dry form what Tony was guessing hours of crying. The voicemail went on for another minute listening to Peter cry as rain thundered around him, but to him it felt likes hours watching as the woman on the telly speak empty words of sorrow mourning over a person she’d never met 

Hanging up the phone unable to bare listening to the boy cry, each stutter in his throat breaking Tony’s cold heart the brilliant teen sounding so broken, so lost. Trying to call the teen, dialing his number once, then to the dozens having no responseas he heard the automated message, the man desperate as he dialed Peter, pacing as he grabbed his jacket and ran to the elevator cursing under his breath as the phone went back to the kids voice mail. 

“Fuck,” Cruising softly 

“JARVIS tell Happy to get the car” 

Placing his phone into his pocket feeling his heart pound painfully against his chest praying that Peter was okay, ‘thank god for a tracker…’ was all he could think as the doors opened to reveal Happy ready at the car that exhaust fuming ready to take off into the streets of new york.  
\---

Burying his head in his arms, tears soaking Peter’s hoodie, trying to take steady breaths but his lungs refused to expand feeling compressed, burning inside his chest. Letting out a guggled cry, the teen feeling his heart clench painfully just wishing he was gone. No one to hurt him, no one to hurt the ones he loved, praying to just be gone… The boy not wanting to cause anyone anymore pain or grieving, wanting the anguish he felt to vanish into the cold air.

To stop existing.

He’d lost May and Ben the people who came into his life, took his hand when his parents died. Came into his life and made him able to enjoy the sun once again bringing back his smile, pointing out the clouds that were shaped like animals as Ben tossed him the ball in the park ad the boy beamed with happiness. The people that believed in Peter so much, the people who made him into who Spider-Man-- No who Peter Parker was. 

They were the people that loved him, the people who come once in a lifetime.. And for once Peter was scared to lose them, terrified of losing the people he held close… but now there were gone, May, Ben, Mary and Richard.

He had lost them all, every person he loved was gone, every friendship he had slept crumbled away till nothing was left and now Peter doubted anyone would fight to keep him in their lives.  
He could still picture his parents smiles, May’s laugh and Ben’s childish grin, the aching pain of seeing them in his thoughts, but not able to hold them in your arms. 

The silence was so loud in his head, it confused him… How could silence be loud? 

Because it was painful, there was nothing but shadows of the people he loved, standing there as if they were mourning… Praying for the child they tried so hard to raised would not fall into the shadows, into the silence, but Peter realized he’d lost everyone. 

Ben, May, Mary and Richard all loved the boy to much, and it was far too early for the boy to join them among the stars as his story wasn’t over but it was only beginning but the road would cause him to break and fall, cry and smile. The journey had only begun.

Hearing the loud screech of a car, Peter looking up from his arms, face stained with tears as the car’s bright beam lights shun in his eyes blinding the spider, before he heard the desperate call of the last person he’d expect. 

“Peter!”


	7. Hello lovelys

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hello darlings please read the following

Hello to all those still reading I will be posting an update tomorrow or maybe late tonight.  
This book will never be abandoned, I am posting this to give you all a small explanation go my absence.

I'm dealing with family services and that has caused a large amount of stress for me to deal with. I have recently come out as transgender(FTM) to my family and the reactions weren't pleasant... And someone ended up calling child protection I am unaware of who called them but someone has been I grateful? In a sense yes and no. If anyone has any further questions always feel free to comment not message me on my Instagram or wattpad.

I will as frequently as I can and I hope you all stay with me as I have many things in store for this book! 

See you darlings all soon! 

Wattpad : Marrwrote   
Instagram: avacodocosplay


	8. Marcid

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Marcid  
> (adj.) withered; incredibly exhausted 
> 
> \- 
> 
> Sorry if this seems rushed and so sorry for spelling errors my parents took my phone and laptop so my friend gave me her old Motorola for the day so I could write this chapter!

Chapter eight

Marcid  
(adj.) withered; incredibly exhausted 

-  
Note:

So everyone knows in the previous chapter Tony told happy to drive to the Tower as we know from spider-man homecoming Tony has sold the tower, but because I don’t know really what the inside of the compound looks like I’m making it so that Tony lives at the tower with a few other avengers while the other avengers not at the tower live at the compound.   
\--

Entering the tower, Peter’s limp body laying in Tony’s arm his small body curling into his chest, the boy looking like he’d aged down to back when he was fifth teen (even though his appearance hasn’t really changed) looking far to innocent in the man's arms. 

Stepping into the living area, Clint’s head turning to great his so called friend but instead knitted his eyebrows together in confusion. The archer making small notes about the brunette, noticing the long tear streak staining Peter’s swelling cheeks, the swollen eyes from endless hours of crying, his nose a rose pink as his hair stuck to his forehead from the rain.  
Tony looked at Clint as if daring him to speak not willing to put with an interrogation.

Swallowing the lump in his throat standing up from the couch walking over to the billionaire making sure to keep a small distance between the two.

“What happened to him?” the agent trying to avoid the baring unknown question of who Peter was, but discarded it for now knowing the kid’s well being was more important that interrogating Tony to find out who the kid was.

Holding back a smile as Peter nuzzled his head into the crook of Tony’s neck, letting out a soft hum in comfort but it sounded rough on the kids dry throat.

Tired, Tony letting out a frustrated sigh, “Watch the news Katniss” Clint noticing how exhausted the male sounded as Tony walked past him stepping out of the way to avoid being accidentally hit by Peters dangling legs. The archer wanting to ask another question but let it hang in the air finding it not to be important letting the brunette carry the boy away.

\--

“JARVIS lights” Tony mumbled dryly as the AI brought light to the room, diming it so it wouldn’t wake Peter nor strain Tony’s eyes, walking over to the large queen sized bed placing Peter down into the soft mattress that was supposed to wrap around one's body, the man taking note as he placed Peter onto the mattress how little the bed dipped under his weight. Taking in a deep breath, slowly exhaling through his nose, pulling the sheets over the boy's frame as Peter rolled onto his side burying his head into the pillows, humming softly in pleasure as he curled into himself hugging the sheets close to his chest making Tony smile at how angelic the brunette looked as he wondered out of the room, glancing at the boy one last time before leaving Peter to get some much deserved sleep as JARVIS turned the lights off as the door made a silent click sound.

\--

Laying down on the couch, an ear shot away from Peter’s room Tony fearing the kid would wake up screaming either from night mares or distress. Closing his eyes, resting his head against the couch cushion only to be bothered a moment later by fast paced footsteps. Opening his eyes glaring at the blonde his eyes narrowing into a glare as Tony pursed his lips in a thin line. Tired and exhausted not wanting to listen to what the captain had to say but knew he wouldn't have much of a choice. 

“What’s up Cap” Steve looked at Tony seeing the dark bags under his eyes, choosing not to comment on the mans obvious lack of sleep.

“Clint informed me you brought in a kid?” the soldier trying to word it in a non demanding tone, not wanting to anger the man as an anger Iron Man was the last thing he needed to deal with at the moment. 

“Yeah I did” Tony deadpanned not wanting to enter into a further conversation.

“Why? Who is he” Tony closing his eyes imaging the distraught look on Steve’s face as he forced a pained laugh, “Believe it or not, that kid is spider-man” he spoke dryly feeling Steve's eyes on him as they widened but choosing to regain his thoughts before asking another question.

Clint making it out to Steve the kid looked no older than fifth teen, the guilt pooling in his chest thinking about their fight in Germany. Who would have thought it would have been a minor… or at least that's what Steve thought. 

“Why is he at the Tower? Was he injured in a fight?” Tony groaned tired, not wanting to answer any of Steve’s questions letting the man interrogate him another day, looking up into the soldier's eyes noticing how the ex military displayed signs of being anxious as if he was worried about the boy.

Sighing, his chest deflating. “Watch the news cap, same thing I told Katniss” Tony’s voice was stern as he got up, hoping Steve would take the hint that he had no further plans on discussing the subject with him as he poured himself another drink as his last drink was left forgotten on the floor.

\--

Moaning(not in sexual way you pervs), feeling the sun shine on his face the sun appearing like white scars on the wooden floor the curtains pulled open, Peter rolled onto his stomach burying his head into the pillow refusing to wake up not read to leave the comfort of the bed that engulfed his body---

His eyes widened, body jolting up as he looked around trying to get a sense of wear he was, Peter’s head snapping to the side as his breathing began to pick up trying to steady his breathing, focusing on each breath. ‘In and out’ Peter whispered to himself--

“Good morning Mr. Parker” an animated voice spoke startling Peter as he frantically looked around the room trying to find the source of the sound, “W-who’s there?”

“Mr. Parker? It is I JARVIS, I am sorry if I have startled you”

‘JARVIS? Was am I at the Tower? No… I was in the alley… wait, Tony was there, wasn’t he?’

“Sorry JARVIS, wh-where am I?” His voice was weak, throat scratching painfully, “You are at the Stark Tower Mr. Parker" Taking in a steady breath, closing his eyes as he tried to regain his thoughts forcing himself off the god like bed, goosebumps arising on Peter’s body as his bare feet touched the cool floor.

Standing up, his legs beginning to wobble slightly before he straightened his stance, stretching his arms as he walked towards the door, Peter’s hand turning the doors handle taking a steady breath as he walked into the living area expecting to only see Tony, well it seemed that hope was for none.

Bucky’s eyes fell on Peter as he stood at the entry point, the winter soldier making eye contact with the brunette his eyebrow raised as he didn’t recognize the male, the kid having an anxious expression as he looked at the other Avengers in the room, 

“Peter” Tony smiled gently walking over to the brunette seeing his startled expression, Peter’s eyes following the man as he got closer to him, “Mr-Mr.Stark--” Tony raised a hand to stop the boy from rambling on “First off its Tony, saying Mr makes me feel old we’ve known each other for four years” He sighed, opening his mouth to speak but was cut off as Tony spoke. 

“So this is the sleeping beauty” Peter felt his cheeks flush at the nickname but was over come as Bucky stared at him, wondering who the man was remembering his face from their battle in Berlin, his heart began to pound painfully against his chest feeling everyone's eyes on him, Steve looking at Peter with a stunned expression, “This is the Spider-Man?” the words falling from Steve’s lips as they hung painfully in the air as now he truly felt everyone looking at him with mixed expressions.

Tony noticed the kids sharp inhale of breath, seeing his neck muscles tense as the hairs of his arms stood up. “Breath Peter, breath” Peter began to take short breaths in through his nose trying to relax before giving Tony a small nod. 

“Well Spangles” Tony glaring at Steve for calling the kid out,   
“This is Peter Parker, or as you know him, Spider-Man” Bucky’s eyes wondered Peter’s body taking in his small body structure and thin frame, his eyes slightly swollen but not from a battle, no bruises or scratches on the boys visible skin, but eyes swollen from tears. 

“I would say introduce yourselves but I think we have all met” Tony referencing to their little ‘argument’ he calls it in Berlin a little over four years ago, Peter gave an awkward wave feeling a pit in his stomach as he tried to find words to say but couldn’t find the strength to speak. 

Steve was the first to speak trying to break the silence that seemed to hang in the air, “I’m sorry, I am just shocked is all my apologies” The captain spoke hoping Peter would understand, Steve was astonished at how scrawny the boy was, his slender frame taking Steve for a shock. Clint wasn’t lying that was sure. 

 

Pulling at his shirts sleeve looking at Tony as he placed a hand on his stomach hoping Tony would take the hint… 

Nodding his head, looking up at the group “Sorry Kiddos, Petey and I need to chat for a second” Tony spoke, turning his back to the two as Peter followed weakly behind the man trying to ignore the obvious stares that followed them. 

Slowly it became harder to breath, the air feeling like it was being torn from Peter’s chest, Tony pulling Peter into the guest room-- well now his room as Peter wondering in like a lost puppy.

His eyes began to water, his chest feeling tight-- “hey, hey Peter look at me” Tony’s voice causing Peter to let out a broken sob as he fell to his knees feeling weak wrapping his arms around his quivering frame. Tony kneeling to the floor taking Peter hands into his feeling the boys clammy hands. As Peter began to hyperventilate Tony cursed knowing the kid was having an anxiety or panic attack of sorts.

“Petey look at me” Peter lounging forward wrapping his arms around his mentor sobbing into his shoulder as he clung desperately to the olders shirt.

Hesitant, Tony rubbed circles into Peters back whispering soft nothings into his ear in hopes of soothing the distraught teen as Peters nails digged into Tony's back.

“I'm sorry” 

“Peter you have nothing to be sorry for” Carding his fingers through the youngers soft hair, now cradling Peter in his arms. “I- I mess everything up…” Tony sighed, as Peter was now crying silent tears, each word he spoke a choked sob unable go control the few hiccups that left his lips.

Pulling Peter’s head into the crook of his neck, Tony's hand resting on the nape of the kids neck. The kid had done nothing wrong. The heartbreaking sobs breaking Tony's stone heart, the man knowing he was blaming himself for the death of May.

Holding Peter close praying to every god that they would take away the young vigilante pain.

But sadly there was no god to answer his prayer.

Finally, Peter’s breathing began to steady once again. Tony continuously rubbing circles into the youngers back as Peters body fell limp in Tony's arms exhausted from his anxiety attack. The slight trembles that ran through the spiders lsmall frame made Tony warey loosely wrapping his arms around the brunette. Peter exhaled, burying the side of his cheek into Tony's chest feeling calm listening to his mentors steady heart beat. (Yes Tony does have a physical heart along with the miniature reactor) 

Unable to hold back his grin, feeling it tugging at his lips as Tony carded his hands through Peters soft locks once again. “Thank you... Mr- Tony..." Peter mumbled too embarrassed to look the man in the eyes.

"Any time kid, I will always be here"


	9. Very important!!

Hello darlings, I just wanted to post a small update to keep all readers posted.  
When I write stores I create a sheet that gives a quick brief of how the chapters will pay out and why the chapter is named what. These sheets are very important for this book as of thee title names and meanings, recently a guy at my high school decides to take my clipboard and throw it outside into the rain. 

Not only did that clipboard have my chapter sheets it also had the next chapter written and ready to be typed up. So right now I am very frustrated as I have lost all plans for this story and the next chapter. Since coming out my guardians had destroyed my devices so I have zero back up and am right now struggling to even remember the name of chapter nine.

So I ask you all to please wait with me till i can find a way to at least plan out the chapters once again, I will try and update within the month of june but it may vary depending on certain people and their actions. 

I hope all you readers have a lovely rest of your day and I must remind you they this book will never be abandoned!


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (n.) the deep fear of stillness, solitude, or deserted places; is the specific phobia of isolation, a morbid fear of being egotistical, or a dread of being alone insulated a morbid fear of being egotistical, or a dread of being alone insulated

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please Read!!
> 
> Sorry for any mistakes I wrote this in basically an hour while I was at the library after I was released from the hospital. 
> 
> I had my eye almost taken out but a metal soldering iron so know I have to wear an eye patch from a while and my gosh all my friends have been calling me Thor lately. 
> 
> I had eye surgery the day when all my exams where being taken so I will be busy all this week but with summer coming up I should be able to sneak out more to write more for this story! 
> 
> Thank you all for still being here and reading this and I’m so happy to read all your lovely comments.
> 
> Thank you all darlings and enjoy this chapter (sorry its rushed!!)

Chapter Nine

Peter laid, scrolling through the many articles of the recent news, swiping his finger down the screen watching as article after article popped up.

The bright screen glaring into the brunette's eyes, Peter’s heightened senses numb from the sensation. Feeling his muscles tense, swallowing the lump in his throat, the bold text reflecting off the boy's eyes as his fingers lingered over the link before hesitantly clicking the blue text.

“ **May Parker, MURDERED in home of the nephew. No evidence found at the scene”**

His heart stopped, aching painfully as it pounded on Peter’s ribcage sending taunting chills through the boy’s bones as he read the detailed report. The news outlets not blessing a warning as Peter scrolled through the graphic details and descriptions on his Aunt.

May’s bright smile shown in a small picture towards the left of the screen, clicking it to enlarge the image, looking as May had her arms loosely dangling at her side as Ben hugged his wife from behind, his arms wrapped around her waist as the man rested his head in the corner of his beloved wife's neck.

Smiles present on both their faces, May’s soft expression making the boy feel warm, missing her gentle smile. May’s eyes staring up at her husband, eyes glistening with love as Ben returned the love-stricken expression. Peter had seen the picture before sitting on the coffee in his old home shortly after Ben's passing, Peter remembering seeing his Aunt every morning for months as she stared blankly at the photo grieving over her husband.

Below the photo, a short text had been written by the journalist regarding his wishes for the deceased woman.

_“May you rest in peace May Parker, I will only pray you will be united with your husband. My dearest wishes go out to the remains of the Parker family as I wish you all a happy life and soon may you find peace”_

Feeling goosebumps arise on his arms, the soft prickling sensation running through his arms, Peter’s chest deflating as he looked at the image once again, feeling guilt pool in his stomach. Steve stood behind the boy, seeing Peter reading the on his aunt's death. 

“You know, reading that isn't going to help” the blonde spoke startling the brunette as his head whipped around to be faced with the American hero-- well war criminal. The boy became faced with the soldier, Steve's brilliant blue eyes meeting with the youngers hazel, Peter feeling his palms begin to sweat as his nerves began to surface.

“He-Hey Mr...Mr.Rogers” Steve laughed softly resembling more of a low hum as Peter stuttered out a response.

The teen feeling his spider senses begin to tingle being so close to the man he once fought.

Peter ran his finger over the off button of his phone (that Tony had gotten him refusing to let the boy have a flip phone) as the screen turned to a black hearing the soft click with his heightened hearing before glancing up at the captain. Steve sighed, watching as the teen began to fidget on the couch because of his presence taking a seat beside the young hero as he made brief eye contact with the vigilante.

“I know it can be tempting, trust me when I first found a phone I was reading every article about “the man frozen in time” Steve spoke, his voice was gentle and calming reminding the boy of when Ben had used to talk to him about anything as Steve tried to sympathize with the brunette. Peter had lost his aunt barely 24-hours ago, Steve knowing that the little spider would still be grieving over the loss of his only guardian.

Tony had given Steve little detail on the subject before he had threatened the man, telling Cap he would make his death slow and painful, make his regret every breath id he dared hurt Peter or made the boy cry. Peter nods his head not knowing what to say, how he'd respond to the ex-military. Steve silently wished Peter would put effort into words but he knit it was for none as the sorrow that rested on the kid’s shoulders would weigh on him for months to come. Steve got up from the couch, as he gave Peter a smile before turning to walk away---

“Mr.Rogers…” his voice was small and soft but heard as Steve stopped, “Th-thank you” looking back at the kid Steve gave Peter a heartwarming smile. “No problem son, I know we’ve had a rather not kind first meeting” Peter shifting, “But, I am always here if you need to talk” turning his back to Peter as he began to walk towards the elevator but raised his hand as if he’d forgotten something, “And it’s Steve” Peter smiled and mumbled a few incoherent words of thanks as he was left alone in the empty living space. -----

Bucky stood at the fridge looking through Tony’s assortment of what the man calls food. Letting out a defeated sigh as he grabbed a bottle of water.

Entering the living space, Peter’s sense beginning to tingle, his spider senses becoming sensitivity more _painful_ since May had passed. Pushing away those thoughts as he glanced around to see the winter soldier.

_Oh boy_

Goosebumps arose on the spiderling arms as Bucky turned around, his eyes meeting with the young hero's as the man offered a smile, weakly Peter forced a small smile making the ravenette mentally sigh. Bucky knew the boy--

Peter would have his guard up from what happened in Berlin, unaware of the boys lost he could see the sorrow that the hero carried, weighing heavily on his shoulders. Peter gave James a quick glance, the man taking notes on him, watching as Peter seemingly tended to dig his nails into the palm of his hand when he became nervous as the light goosebumps littered his skin. Tony had mentioned the kids ‘senses’ and it had only further made James frown thinking how Peter further saw him as a threat. Peter turned as he began to leave praying that Bucky wouldn’t take offense to him leaving--

“So you're the Spider-Boy” Bucky finally spoke Peter letting out a silent groan wanting to throw his head back at the comment before mumbling a soft “Spider-Man” under his breath causing the soldier to chuckle. Peter smiled at the man's low laugh, Bucky extending his arm out towards the brunette.

“We haven’t formally met, I’m James. But everyone refers to me as Bucky” Peter accepted the hand, “I’m Peter-- Peter like well-- you know” the boy fumbled making Bucky smile.

He reminded him much of when Steve from back in the day.

As Bucky grasped the boy’s hand, realizing how thin Peter was, only guessing that the kid was nothing but skin and bone under his baggy sweatshirt. “The kid who stopped my hit with his hand, I thought you would be a lot buffer under that red suit” Peter let out a stiff laugh immediately making Bucky regret his words for making Peter self-conscious.

“Well, this is me” Peter mumbled gesturing to his nimble frame.

Humming in agreement, James now thinking back, still processing that the kid before him was the one who was able to stop his hit with a single hand, Peter was quite and gentle nothing like the boy he had met in Germany.

The hero striking up conversations with him and Sam being far too chatty as they fought. Probably picking up his sarcasm from Tony. While Bucky thoughts had remained on the kids' appearance. Peter's eyes study the soldiers metal arm gawking at it as he hadn't gotten to see it up close in the fight curious to how it worked how the nerves hooked up to the wiring frame if the exoskeleton inside the arm---

_‘Okay Pete slow yourself’_

His mind was ticking thinking of every formula that could have been used as he mentally began to chart millions of questions he wanted to ask. Peter was the first to break the heavy silence that hung in the arm, “Mr.Barns… Could you not... Not tell anyone?” His voice trailed, Bucky starring at the boy as his brows furrowed, his voice was so small, he was so small.

How could Tony ever let him fight? And fight against _war criminals_ at that. “That your spider-boy” Peter groaned softly but nodded feeling that his time would be wasted on correcting him. “Sure, Mr.Parker” he teased, “Bucky is fine” only offering a smile, making Bucky smile, well more of a grin. Fumbling with his hands before pointing awkwardly in the direction of his room, his hands like small pointing guns

(the bi guns we all know and love)

“I’m- I’m just gonna go to my room” he stuttered as he began to walk towards his new bedroom. “You know you're going to trap yourself into solitude” Bucky suddenly spoke as Peter was about to turn the corner. Swallowing thickly feeling goosebumps prickling at his skin once again as his eyes met with Bucky’s only now the man realizing how truly innocent-- _But how broken the boy was._

“Your afraid of that aren’t you” unable to summon the strength to speak, his words caught in his throat as he only could offer a nod. Bucky sighed, leaning against the cold marble kitchen counter, crossing his arms over his chest, shifting his gaze. “Trust me, don’t let yourself fall into that” Peter’s expression turned dim as his eyes looked emotionless clouded by heartbreak as he let the words slip from his lips.

“I feel like I’m already there”

 

\--

 

Ps. 

 

sorry if this chapter is bad its really rushed, and if you haven't please read the note above


	11. whelve

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this chapter needs quite a bit of editing!
> 
> its hard to type and write with an eye patch :/ 
> 
> sorry for all the mistakes I typed this without doing a rough draft first and I did this fairly quickly! please comment if you like the book so far, thank you darlings

Chapter 10

(v.) To bury something deep: to hide.

 

Gasping, clawing at the bed sheets, before his arm raised as Peter whimpered soft pleas of grief. Beads of sweat running down the sides of his head silent tears stained Peter’s cheeks. Jolting awake, his breath erratic coming out in soft quick pants. Peters eyes scanning the room, before letting a shaky sigh escape his lips.

Running a hand through his hair, closing his eyes as they burned from the tears as Peter tried to steady his breathing taking in slow deep breaths.

Each night the dreams beginning to get more and more realistic, everything so clear, making is so ‘real’. Peter pushing his dampened bangs that stuck to his forehead, pressing his face into the heavenly pillows as he closed his eyes praying for silence to come.

“Why”

No sleep graced the hero that night.

\---

Tony watched as Peter entered the living space, pressing a cup of steaming coffee to his lips watching as Peter gave a small smile. The teen internally cringing as he forced the smile to appear real.

“Sleeping beauty awakes” Tony teases, seeing the dark circles under Peter’s drained eyes. Earning a soft grumble from the spiderling, the older man chuckled, not thinking much of Peter’s reaction as he watched the boy open the fridge. His thin bony fingers hidden under his hoodie before sighing in defeat grabbing a glass of water. Tony frowned, watching Peter take small sips of the clear fluid, it annoyed the man seeing the boy barely eating-- hell he barely _drank._

It had been four days since the child had been taken in by Tony, each day Peter’s emotions draining him more, as his face became more pain and the hoodies got heavier.

Mumbling to himself knowing the kid wasn’t going to last with his enhanced metabolism, taking another gulp of his black coffee (making Peter cringe, it's so bitter!), the boy was not even eating enough for a normal teenager. “You going to eat more than that kid?” Tony didn’t know what he'd expected for an answer but all he received was a childish shaking of Peter’s head ‘no’

“You're going to starve on that diet, especially with your enhanced metabolism” Bruce spoke as he entered the room as Peter’s eyes widened in disbelief having to blink more than twice to gather his senses. “You-- Your Dr.Banner--” Peter gasped as he stared at the scientist his mind racing. The bot had always admired the man’s work finding his research beyond fascinating. The young hero had silently wished when Tony recruited those for what those had called the hero's “Civil War” he’d would have the chance to meet doctor Banner.

Bruce let out a low laugh, seeing the boy look at him starstruck earning a very pleased grin from Tony as he waited to see how things would play out. “It-It's an honor to meet you” Peter spoke with awe, “I wouldn’t take it to see someone so happy to meet the green avenger” Peter shook his head frantically making Tony almost spit out his coffee, “No, no, no” Bruce looked at Tony trying not to laugh. “I’ve read all your papers! I’m a huge fan of your work, it's truly fascinating to read your theories and studies”

Tony couldn’t contain his laughs any longer as he watched his friends stunned expression as Peter faced flushed from his rambling trying to recite stuff he had learned from Banner. Bruce came to a standstill, his mind trying to process everything the boy had said. Dumbfounded at how the teen was able to comprehend his work--  he was amazed Peter even understood his findings.

A heavy silence was held in the air as Peter was the first to break the silence, chewing on the inside of his lip,

“So” itching his neck feeling awkward trying to form a proper sentence in his head.

“Do all the Avengers live here?” Bruce shrugged, the billionaire letting out a sigh as he leaned against the kitchen counter.

“No kid, only a few live here. Most of them just randomly stroll in from time to time” “So who lives here?” “Bruce and I, of course, Bucky and Steve… Well, they just stay than leave, never know honestly. Barnes likes it here since he isn’t on SHEILD’s leash” Peter only nods, not knowing what to say. He noticed the way Mr.Stark tensed, the muscles in his neck tensing at the mention of the two war criminals. The battle of the ‘civil war’ between heroes only happened three years ago, Peter remembering seeing Tony laid in the medic bay after his supposed friend, his favorite hero, almost opened his mentor's chest with his shield. The man was broken, his mentality has been shattered into specs only to be barely pieced back together as the man he had called a friend almost killed him, lied to him--

_betrayed him._

Steve and Tony rarely spoke anymore, the banter they used to spat at one another now gone in the clear tension between the two. The man was able to “accept” the James Barnes wasn’t ‘himself’ when he took his parents to live in cold blood. Steve stilled believed the Accords has deeper, more sinister meaning behind their government, but has chosen not to act on his will anymore, Tony having to keep the man on a tight leash as he made Steve swear to never mention it unless it risked the lives of one of them. “I’m going to go to the lab, Pete wanna join” Tony winking at the boy as his eyes lit up from their dull state as Tony smiled at the boys brightening smile,

_‘Maybe… Maybe I can keep him from reality_

\--

Peter sat on one of the many lab counters while he worked on his web shooters fiddling with them as he added new defense mechanisms playing around with the screws. Bruce sat, silently taken back by the teen as he cast a few glances over to Peter watching him work on him webs beyond stunned.

“Where did you pick this kid up? He’s genius” the doctor marveled at Peter’s intelligence causing Tony to chuckle as he worked on his laptop adding new coding to FRIDAY.

“I know, kids gonna surpass me soon” Tony laughed softly as his friend nodded his head in agreement. The scientist wished to offer the boy his condolences on his aunt but was told, well more like threatened to leave the subject alone. He didn’t agree with Tony’s method on avoiding the subject, things would begin to pile, bruce mentally sighing to himself, thinking how the boy will react when it’s time for the woman's funeral. Making mental notes to discuss his friend's methods of protecting the boy from reality.

\---

Glancing at the clock, the bold red letters glaring off Bruce's glasses, **“10:57 pm”** Bruce almost cringing at spending his entire day in the lab neglecting taking care of himself. Looking at Tony who was messing with FRIDAY’s programs--Still. Before turning his attention to Peter, the spiderling having fallen asleep in one of the more comfortable lab chairs.

“Tones, Peter’s asleep.” Tony looked up, turning his attention towards the brunette, letting out a shallow sigh, “The kid needs sleep, it best we let him rest” He kept sparring cautious glances over to Peter, worried that the boy was to wake at any second-- dreading that moment he’d have to break Peter from his haunting dreams.

Bruce looked almost pleased watching as Tony stared at the boy, the man actually had a heart, chuckling at the thought. Maybe the kid was special, something Tony needed.

‘’How did you meet Peter?” asking out of curiosity to where Tony had scooped the boy up from.

“I recruited him”

His brows furrowed, “Recruited?”

The billionaire nodded not caring to face his science bro, “I recruited the kid for the accords ‘disagreement’ Capsical and Mental Implants and I had” well the statement did not quite help, had Peter been 12? The boy looking so young, “He’s a kid tony!” he barked Tony cringed at the man’s tone, sighing.

“Listen, he’s a kid-- but a kid who is Spider-Man”

“Still a kid Tony” the other man pressed. Tony threw his head back in a groan,

“Bruce, Pete’s 19, perfectly legal” mumbling the last part causing the older man to glare at his friend as he mumbled something under his breath.

“19 he looks no older than 15!-- 15 wait… You recruited him when he was 15!” he shouted, well ‘whisper’ shouted, as Tony shushed him. Bruce running a hand through his hair as he was about to snap back a comment but stopped when he watched Peter’s body shift rubbing his templates-- this was getting frustrating,

“Tony, should you get the kid home, his parents are probably worried he’s run away, after all, that’s happened” The man tilted his head slightly, noticing as Tony stiffened.

“He is home” rolling his eyes, “I meant his family, Tony.”

A heavy silence hung in the air once again,

“Tony?” “The kid has no more family” Bruce remained silent watching as Tony slammed his hand down before placing his head in his hands taking in a deep breath feeling his chest tighten. “The night May Parker died, itwas the day Peter lost what was left of his family. Ben Parker was his uncle he was killed the same way his aunt was taken from him, by a fucking bastard welding a gun” Taking a breath, trying to keep his composure. “Mary and Richard Parker died in a plane crash when Peter was a child, and actually kid” Tony glanced at the boy with pity, why did this have to happen to him…

Bruce felt his stomach churn as he looked at the young vigilante. He swallowed thickly, “He has no living relatives” Bruce didn’t know what to say, but he knew his next words did not help the man, “Have the funeral dates been arranged” Tony laughed softly gesturing to his laptop Bruce giving the screen a quick glance as he read the names of the countless emails sent.

“I’m having my lawyers get her will” rubbing his eyes, picturing the kid’s broken expression as he would have to hand him his aunt's last wishes. “I wish Pepper was here to do all this shit” ignoring Tony's silent whisper, what Pepper had done, Bruce would be happy her life was taken instead of May Parkers.

“I’m calling it a night,” Bruce said, stretching his sore limbs not having the mental compatibility to deal with anything more.

“I’m probably going to pull an all-nighter” Bruce gave Tony a knowing glare as he patted him on the shoulder as the man waved him off as the older man calling out ‘goodnight’ as he left the labs.

\---

Shifting in his sleep, his eyes flickering under closed lids, as the boy began to curl in on himself. “Ah” Peter letting out a strangled cry, tears staining down his pain skin as he began to cry out for someone.

Tony, startled. Rushing over to Peter, watching as the teen muffled his sobs the arm of the chair clawing at his clothing. He felt his stomach turn seeing the boy, pulling him into his chest as Tony began to whisper sweet nothings into Peter’s ear.

“Your okay” Tony whispered as Peters body curled into the olders embrace.

“Stop, stop, stop” the boy begged, his nails digging into his meteors back clawing painfully at his back.

Hissing, Tony knew he should wake the boy let Peter escape from his nightmare, but he knew, fuck he knew it would only make him suffer more.

Wincing softly as the young hero’s nails dug into the back of Tony’s arm, Peter letting out another pained cry sd hid lunged burned. “Make it stop” Peter begged, his tears making Tony feel guilt pulling Peter closer to him, carding his hand through the boy's soft locks.

“Shh” “I’ve got you” rubbing small circles into the hero’s back trying to comfort him.

“Don’t leave”

Swallowing the painful lump in the back of Tony ’s throat, pulling Peter’s head up into the crook of his neck as he nuzzled his chin into Peter’s soft curls.

_“I won’t, I’m right here.”_


	12. So sorry for long delays

Sorry for long delays in a new chapter, I've had no inspiration since I received a message from two people saying I'm promoting pedophilia for writing a Peter x Tony.

I stated in the beginning of this story that Peter is 19 almost 20 and Tony is 40, yes it is a 20 year age gap but it is not unheard of, my uncle and his boyfriend have a 18 year age gap.So sending me a message degrading my writing style and trying to degrade me personally, that is a low move. I am honestly disturbed two people would take the time out of their day to do that. I post my information for contacting me for the reasons I shall write below,

If you wish to chat/have a conversation

If something in my stories/fanfictions that may have triggered or offended you or something that may concern you or other readers

  
I also put it there if one of my readers are having a hard time and want to vent or talk

My information is NOT there for someone to say my writing was 'vile', 'pedophilia', 'crude', 'wrong' or 'disgusting'. Everyone is entitled to their own options but I don't wish to have to deal with someone that will try to degrade me on a personal level when <A> you don't know me and <B> when I ask why you would read the story when i clearly stated it was a Starker fanfiction. People need to realize that this is a Fanfiction if you do not like my writing them block me, simple.

So if anyone wishes to contact me, I am more then welcome but I will not deal with harassment.  
I will update soon, I am heading to an anime convention in August 3-5th so I will be busy making props and other cosplay related items so I will be absent for a while but am updating a book on Loki x Peter for anyone interested and going to Auston Texas for a writers from August 7-14 but will updating frequently on the 10th and 11th.

Sorry for the long wait and I'm sorry you have to wait longer please have a lovely day darlings <3

my contact info reach  
Wattpad: Marrwrote  
Instagram: Avacodocosplay <will be absent for a week or so>  
Discord: Mark Jen #3403 <Frequent>


	13. Good news

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Please read till end~

Hello darlings, I just wanted to say this fan fiction is not abandoned. 

I plan to start writing a new chapter by monday.   
Things have been very crazy in my life recently but I am back and I want to say thank you for all the support in the comments and it really makes me smile to hear you guys like the fan fiction. 

I hope everyone reading this has a lovely day I will see you all very soon! 

Thank you again for the people waiting patiently for the next chapter. 

My contact in in the previous chapter if anyone wishes to reach out : ) 

See you all soon darlings.


	14. ----

Hello, wow 108 days since I last have updated this fanfiction.

I'm slowly making my return, life has been very chaotic for myself, it has pained me not having been able to update any of my works as I truly take pleasure writing for all of you even if my writing isn't the best.  
With the holiday's life was rough, as I have previously mentioned I am transgender and starting T while still being a minor, and a minor with disapproving parents is a whole nother wheelhouse but hopefully with holidays leaving and school coming back around I will be updating more frequently. 

currently, I am not updating this book for a bit longer as the hate had gotten to me, but I love this storyline and I have so much to do with the plot line in store.  
If you would like to read something I am working on, I have just started a short story fanfiction today about Peter as a young child and the troubles and chaos here's the link--  
https://archiveofourown.org/works/17325380

I really hope a few are still reading this and if so please leave a comment below because I would love to interact with you all, but otherwise till then have a lovely rest of your day and thank you for still being here.


	15. A family in trouble

Please go to https://www.gofundme.com/6s0iry8 and donate, if you have any spare money, please donate to help my family. 

 

I know there are people with worse problems, but my family is in need right now, my father has lost his job due to mental illness he's been fighting for years, and being forced to work 11 days with no break.   
We have moved countless times and we have suffered everytime, and everytime life gets good, or a little better, we are forced to move. 

We live in Vancouver which is an expensive place... And my brother and I have finally gotten into a good school and have met great people and er have a great community and we can't withstand losing this, every time we move it breaks our relationship more and more. 

So please, If you have even a single penny... It will help us a lot... And if you could please share this. 

I know I'm a stranger and you don't know me, but the desperation has finally settled in. 

Thank you,   
\- author


End file.
